Every New Year’s Day when the party is over, with bleary morning-after- eyes looking in the mirror you are faced with the self-induced pressure of manifesting a significant transformation for the better. A new year is traditionally associated with the slogan of a new you, but how do you suddenly change your core identity and your physical body? Is this even possible? Is this the reason for failed resolutions? Instead let’s try a new resolution: Self-acceptance. What a relief to just relax into yourself and tweak your marvelous flaws - gradually. Who knows but in a parallel universe you might even be a role model?
Self-acceptance is built on the premise that you know who you are, both shortcomings and strengths, embracing your distinctly unique nature. You understand that you are composed of highs and lows and of course, many contradictions. At this point you can finally rid yourself of all that emotional programming – what others expect you to do or become. Toss out that toxic standard! Choosing to accomplish whatever resonates for you and in your own personal time frame will result in the least stress and lead to the greatest success. An added perk is when you accept yourself, others will accept you too.
Your New Year can be so much better if you:- Express your true feelings naturally
- Honor your temperament and work with your nature, not against it
- Ask for what you need
- Know what energizes you rather than depletes you
- Establish boundaries, so others don’t trespass on your time
- Activate your senses to be receptive to your environment which holds clues to happiness
- Ask yourself the question: “What makes me happy?”
- Look at what you love doing and what you are good at doing – where do they intersect?
- Listen to your own inner voice about self-care
- Fill the hole in your heart by doing what satisfies and makes you happy
- Create an environment that is less stressful for you
So please don’t resolve to become a new you this New Year. The old you knows how to have fun and see the humor in things. The old you knows that each repetitive act can be perceived as a new act of discovery. Aim to play more to the strengths of your old self instead of dwelling on self-criticism. There is an old Zen saying: “Don’t keep searching for the truth; just let go of your opinions.”
Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of
Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life,
Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout and
Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit:
www.turnonyourinnerlight.com
